How Nancy Got Her Groove Back...

I just realized I didn't post for all of March.  That makes a little sad seeing how I started off the year so well.  So goes life, huh?

So to recap from my last post- I announced my two year CrossFit anniversary, posted a yummy recipe and then I fell off the face of the Earth.  Seriously, I fell into a big FUNK.  I had participated in my first ever CrossFit competition in the beginning of March.  It was fun, I seriously enjoyed myself.  Plus, I got to see some old friends, so a good time was had all around.  But...

When it was all said and done I placed like 15 out of 18 in the scaled devision.  And while I was glad not to be last and proud of myself for competing- it wore at me a little by little.  Eventually I just felt flat out depressed about that and everything.  See- I was comparing myself to others.  I was comparing myself- someone who had never ever ever been athletic whatsoever, someone who is quite uncoordinated, to those who are younger, and are natural athletes.  I was feeling bad because these people who have been doing CrossFit for at least half the time that I have- and they were passing me up.  I felt and do still at times, feel, frustrated at how hard I have had to work to get to where I am.  And I am not where I wanted to be at this point!  So you go ahead and put two and two together.... Yep
It was a PITY PARTY.

This is the first place I have even talked about this.  This is a confession, folks.  This is very hard for me to write, very.

So my question is- am I expecting too much from myself- someone who is pushing 40, who HAS made great progress compared to where she was before, and someone who was never athletic to begin with?  Or have I given up too easily?  Do I just need to put on my big girl panties and toughen the EFF up??  Do I just need to work harder and be more consistent?

Probably a little of both sides.

Anyhoo, I am back at it again.  I picked myself up off the floor, wiped my tears, and hit the gym.

But do you want to know what is really inspiring me to go at it, and go harder?  My husband.  He finally started CrossFitting with me.  I have been bugging him forever to go.  And he finally did it.  He drank the Kool-Aid (Paleo of course.)

I can't tell you how excited I was for him to join me.  Maybe with his permission he will let me post before and after pics.  He is going to do his first Whole 30 with me next month.  This is going to be epic.

So now, I have to set that example.  Yeah maybe I suck sometimes, but as long as I am giving it my all then who cares?

I don't know if I have posted this before- but I found this on Facebook and thought it hit the mark:

I think I need more bacon....

2 year CrossFit Anniversary! (AKA yummy egg celebration)

I realized this morning as I was brushing my teeth that today is my two year CrossFit Anniversary.  Two years ago I walked into the gym for my very first CrossFit work out.  I was so very nervous, in fact I was ready to cry I was that anxious about it all.  The night before I dreamt that I showed up for my work out and everyone sneered at me and were even angry about me being there- I was the "FNG".

So how did it go?  First off I could not even do a decent push up on my knees and lets not get started on my squats (which I had never attempted before that day.)  My first WOD was Cindy- which is traditionally 20 minute AMRAP of 5 pull-ups, 10 push-ups and 15 squats.  Since it was my first work-out my coach had me do ten minutes.  Which, I have to say probably saved my life.  10 minutes was hard- I did jumping pull-ups, very shallow push-ups on my knees and very shallow squats.  My coach, who is now one of my dearest friends- looked me dead in the eye in the middle of my work out when I thought I was about to puke- "you are not going to throw up."  I didn't.  I went home after that- showered and took a two hour nap.  The next several days were painful- I could barely walk down the stairs and sitting down to pee was a feat in itself (I had to hold on the walls around me).  It sounds awful but I was in love.  After only two weeks I knew I was stronger already.  It works that fast.

Fast forward two years later-
Initially I lost twenty pounds and two dress sizes within the first 6 months (I started eating paleo about a month after I started CrossFit).  I have gained eight of those pounds back, but still fit into the same clothes- which means I have gained a ton of muscle.  My one rep max for deadlift is now 205- I worked hard for that!  I cannot RX all WODs- which to be honest a lot of people can't or choose not to- but that is a discussion for another day.  Two years ago I couldn't even run one lap around the track without stopping- the other day I went for a nice 2 mile run with no problems.  I am a little disappointed I still can't do a kipping pull-up- but to be honest I haven't worked hard enough for it.  I have never had any upper body strength.  I played volleyball in high school and couldn't even serve the ball overhanded- I had to hit it from the side.  But now I have real muscles in my arms!  Let me tell you I am proud of them too.
To sum it up- I am stronger, leaner, faster and more confident.  I am part of a community of like minded individuals who share this passion with me- to be stronger, faster, healthier.  I hope to pass it on to my children.  I shudder to think of all the time I threw away sitting on the couch because I had no energy to do anything.  The times when my children wanted to me to go out and play with them but all I could do was sit and watch because I felt too tired.  I really wish CrossFit had come into my life a lot sooner!

To celebrate this milestone I made the most delicious eggs.  I saw a recipe somewhere on FaceBook- can't remember where- but I just know it had eggs, avocado and bacon in it.  That is what inspired me to make this dish.

Green Eggs and Bacon (a tribute to Dr. Seuss's birthday which is March 2nd.)

1/2 green pepper- diced

1 ripe avocado- peeled and diced

1 tablespoon coconut oil

3 eggs

salt and pepper to taste

3 strips of bacon- cooked and crumbled

1/4 cup diced tomatoes

cilantro (half handful or however much you like)

hot sauce (I like Tapatios)

Heat pan on medium high heat- add coconut oil.  Stir fry green pepper until it starts to brown slightly, add avocado.  Cook veggies until the avocado starts to brown slightly.  Whisk the eggs in a bowl- season with salt and pepper.  Add to veggies and scramble the eggs with the veggies.  Once the eggs are cooked, immediately scoop out on a plate.  Top with tomatoes, cilantro (I just break up the leaves with my hands), and crumbled bacon.  Add a dash or two or three of hot sauce.  Enjoy!

Whole 30 Complete!

Who has two thumbs and just finished her second Whole 30 and had two major PRs yesterday?
 --->this girl!<----
Yeah!  I am so happy on many counts today.  Yesterday was my 30th day and I finished strong with a big helping of spaghetti squash with marinara meat sauce.  yummo!

At CrossFit our WOD was CrossFit Total.  Basically it is max back squats, strict press and deadlift.  Your total is the max out of each movement (5 tries each).  While my strict press was seriously lacking (my shoulder was killing me)- I had a 17 pound PR on both my back squat and deadlift!  I didn't even realize how big my back squat PR was because I was so focused on my dead lift.  See, I had a goal up on the goal board at the box- 200 lb dead lift by March.  When they told me I pulled 205 I was over the moon happy.

Two Buck Club Baby!!

I really do think doing the Whole 30 helped me improve my strength and endurance which then lead to my awesome PRs.  I lost 5 pounds- I thought maybe it would be more but I have been hitting the gym hard and I swear my biceps are bigger, no joke.  The important thing is that I feel better, my clothes fit me again (in some cases are even loose), I am sleeping well, my skin looks great, no more indigestion, I have more energy and I feel HAPPY.

Am I going to go crazy and dive into a pizza head first?  No!  I plan to stay the course.  I will include paleo treats like the bacon chocolate chips a friend gave me the recipe for.  I still have more goals to reach for- no stopping me now. =)

Self punishment

I have a bad, bad Friday at work.  I confess it is not my top choice of employment and I am just biding my time there. But- I still want to give it my all and be successful while I am still employed there.  Last Friday was crazy busy and the people I dealt with were NASTY.  Without going into more detail lets just say I was very discouraged and a few times I almost started bawling in the middle of it all.  I really had a hard time keeping it together.  On the way home I did cry my eyes out and even screamed a few times- that is how frustrated I was.

So what would a cavegirl do in this situation?  She would go home, hug her children and then get a killer work out in.  Did I do that? Of course not!

I went home, filled a glass full of ice and splashed it with Captain Morgan and Coke and cooked up a pan of Bertollis' pasta for dinner.  I also had ice cream, and I don't know how many Reese's miniatures. All to make me feel better- I did this.  Did I feel better?  No- in fact I felt awful and sick to my stomach.  The next morning I woke up with a puffy face- yes I was crying but the alcohol and sugar (and grains and crap) made it worse.

Why do I punish my body to make myself feel better?  It's that whole "comfort food" thing we are so programmed to.  I was kicking myself for it every time I looked in the mirror.  My stomach threw a huge fit as well.

Saturday I did not do any better- I spent the day watching movies with my daughter and eating whatever I felt like.  I knew it was wrong to eat that crap but I felt like I "deserved" to indulge.

This morning I felt better, and resolved once again to eat clean.  I cooked up my chicken thighs for the week and roasted the two organic chickens I had in the fridge (see picture).  I cut up about 4 or 5 sweet potatoes, layered them around the chicken with sweet onion wedges.  I added sea salt, a cinnamon/chili rub and garlic powder.  I roasted them at 350 for (oh my gosh I can't remember I think a little less than an hour- but I checked the temperature to make sure they were fully cooked- 180 degrees.)  The result? So friggin' delicious!!  The chicken was moist and the sweet potatoes perfectly cooked.  I have a new thing for roasting sweet potatoes.  My family still prefers white- but I will never go back.  Sorry I didn't take a picture of the final product.  There is still a lot of chicken left over- I will try for a pic tomorrow.

So today was almost completely paleo- except for those two squares of bacon chocolate I had.  Have you tried that stuff?  It takes chocolate to a whole new level.  I am not kidding- so good there has to be crack in it.

As a renewed commitment to health and fitness I went back to my CrossFit personal journal.  I have been recording everything in Beyond the Whiteboard (love the new app by the way)- and I let my handwritten journal fall by the wayside.  So I went back and started writing everything down again- and continued my WOD count.  It is something I started at the beginning- numbering each completed WOD.  I have over 200 under my belt now.  Would have liked to have done more- but that is still quite an accomplishment for me.  March will be my two year anniversary.  I made two goals for myself- 200# deadlift and 100# squat clean.  I have more thoughts on goals and self-sabotage- but I will save that for another post.  Good night!

Tuna/Spinach Salad and a box jump owie

What is a fast go-to meal that you love?  A simple one I like is tuna mixed with homemade mayo and some dill weed- and then thrown over a bowl of baby spinach.  I can't do this everyday because I get tired of tuna pretty quickly- but you can substitute the tuna for shredded cooked chicken turkey, or other meat.  If I do chicken I like to add some pecans and sometimes cranberries or raisins (just a few.)  

I live for homemade mayo!  I basically use the recipe from Everyday Paleo's stuffed avocado recipe- with my own little tweaks.  It is runny, not thick like regular mayo- so I really should call it a "dressing:

Add one fresh egg, 2-3 tablespoons of apple cider vinegar (you can adjust this to liking), salt to taste (I have been using pink Himalayan salt lately- so yummy), 1 tsp of mustard (prepared yellow mustard like French's), a pinch of cayenne and whatever other herbs or spices you want (garlic powder, dill, etc)- to your food processor. Blend for a count of five.  Then add one cup of EXTRA-LIGHT olive oil (must be extra-light- try the regular or extra-virgin and you will know why you need extra light- yuck!)- pouring slowly while the processor is mixing.  Once the oil is all poured in- mix for another 5 seconds.

You can also use avocado oil for a different taste- I like it!  The mayo is good as long as the egg you used is good.  So if the cart on eggs say they expire in Nov 12th- that is when you throw out the mayo. Usually the mayo doesn't last that long for me because I eat it it pretty quickly.

In other news- I fought the box jump and the box jump won.  It took me a good 9 months after starting CrossFit to finally gather the courage to jump on the box.  I could do it with a tire but I was terrified of the wooden boxes we used.  I would literally approach the box with every intention of jumping up, and then chicken out.  And the one day I just did it.  If anything has held me back in CrossFit- it has been me.  Yes, I have back problems and that makes me slow down from time to time and then there are family commitments, etc etc.  But I know I would be a lot further along in my training if I didn't psyche myself out so much.  Self-doubt and fear and my biggest enemies.  I should throw a little self-sabotage in there for good measure.  

Little by little, I am working through all of this.  I have to remind myself not to compare myself to others but to look back and appreciate how much I HAVE accomplished.  For example the box jump- I can do those pretty well- most of the time!  I have only fallen twice so far.  This last time I was in the final 30 seconds of an AMRAP trying to finish my 5th round with 15 box jumps.  I got to number 12 and then all of the sudden the room was tilting and I was landing on my side.  I got right back up and got two more in before the buzzer went off- so I was one short of completing the round.  But I still RX'd that shit!  Coach Dave said I shouldn't count the one where I fell because I didn't achieve full hip extension.  But I called BS on that and said he can't prove it because there are no replay cameras and then accused him of being a "replacement ref."  Haha, it was all in god humor of course.  I was a little embarrassed to fall- one cannot do that gracefully.  But I am secretly proud of my "war wound."

Butt Sweat Angels, Fish Oil and My Lunch

Today was a good day as far as being a cave girl.  I at right, except for a little dairy (I am using full cream in my coffee because I cannot find my organic coconut milk I like to use.)  I had an awesome WOD, and I had an awesome lunch.

My lunch- Buffalo Chicken Meatloaf (see yesterday's post), spinach salad with homemade mayo dressing, and my coconut water I forgot to drink yesterday.  I was stuffed, and it was yummy.

Today my WOD consisted off push jerks, lateral burpees, and kettlebell swings.  I literally told my coach that the bar was too heavy, but he made me keep going anyway.  It was a rough WOD, but I felt awesome afterwards for having done it.  You know how your muscles feel all nice and warm after a good workout?  That is a great feeling.  I also made a nice butt sweat angel after I was done:

I had run out of my fish oil so I decided to pick up some of the Stronger Faster Healthier Brand of fish oil (sold ay my box).  It is liquid so I wasn't sure how I would like it.  This kind I picked up is vanilla.  There is no gluten, sugar or soy in it.  And it was actually quite tasty!  I did burp it up a couple of times afterwards (I had the full dose of 2tsp which is almost 5000mg- I usually take 4000mg with the pills), but it wasn't an unpleasant taste at all.  One wouldn't know it be fish oil.  I am impressed so far- I might just stick with it.

Speaking of fish oil- my hubby is now taking it.  He has super high cholesterol, and had been to a cardiologist to have his heart checked out.  His heart is super healthy, including great blood pressure.  But for some reason his "bad levels" are off the charts.  I was dreading what he was going to be prescribed as I believe some meds do more harm but good.  But I think his doc has caught on and he prescribed fish oil!  That really gives me hope.

Buffalo Chicken Meatloaf with BACON!

Like I said yesterday- I was planning on making Buffalo Chicken Meatloaf for today.  So I went shopping after my WOD this morning and decided to double the recipe and add bacon.  Oh it smelled heavenly while it was cooking.  Unfortunately I didn't have time to try it before work and had to wait for my lunch break to eat it.
 It came out perfect, I only think next time I need MOAR BACONZ!  I didn't do the muffin cups like I thought I would- not enough time- I barely got it out of the oven and cooled off enough to put back in the fridge before I left for work.

We had this for dinner as well- I added a spinach salad with my homemade mayo dressing I love.

A little sneak peak into my lunch bag.  Underneath the Lara Bar and coconut water was my cantaloupe and meatloaf.  I actually forgot to drink the coconut water today and the Lara Bar was enjoyed on the way to and from work.  

I try not to rely on them (Lara Bars) too much because 1. they are expensive and 2. I try to keep them as emergency food when I am on the run.  Which was the case today- I didn't have much time this morning to eat before work (except for some extra bacon I cooked.)

Do you eat breakfast before a morning workout?  Robb Wolf suggests that we don't if we work out early enough.  Some people say you HAVE to eat something.  But I find if I am eating clean- I don't get the "sugars" in the morning (meaning I don't feel like I am starving because my blood sugar dropped after eating crap the night before.)  I only drink water and I am fine to work out.  After my WOD I am ravenous of course and food tastes so good at that point.  It is more enjoyable all the way around.  If I do make myself eat before hand- usually just a banana or something light- I am burping and heaving during my WOD.  I don't ever throw up- but that banana never tastes that great the second time around.  

And if I work out in the morning, I wait to drink any coffee.  Why?  If you have had children, you may know the answer.  I have a hard enough time practicing my double-unders without the threat of coffee making me run for the bathroom to pee (and I don't always make it)!  TMI- I know but I have to keep it real. =)

Why I am "Going Paleo"

I have to admit, I completely balked at the idea of "going paleo" when my friends talked about it earlier this year.  I think the big kicker for me was the lack of dairy.  I could do South Beach all day long- it was easy for me to skip the bread and pasta (sugar is another story).  But good grief!- don't take my CHEESE!  And my sour cream- how can I enjoy my taco salad without sour cream?  But I was intrigued.  


Last March of this year, I started CrossFit.  It is something I had been contemplating ever since the summer before when two friends of mine invited me to join them.  Now everyone I knew that was in this CrossFit cult was in GOOD shape.  I really thought that one must get into shape before even attempting CRossFit.  And there I was, in BAD shape.  By skipping dinner, I could shave a few pounds off- but as far as my physical fitness- I was a weakling.


Well by the time 2011 rolled around, I was even in worse shape.  AND I was at my highest non-pregnancy weight.  Emotional eating and the holidays had taken their toll and I felt like CRAP. I knew I had to do something, I didn't feel good in my own skin.


Hence the decision to take the leap and take control of my fitness.  After only two WODs I felt 100% stronger than before- even though I still had so far to go (and still do.)  I was doing South Beach as well, and lost about 5 pounds right off the bat.  All of my CrossFit buds were going Paleo, but I wasn't convinced yet.  


Then the earthquake happened here in Japan.  Nutrition and exercise fell by the wayside.  The only reason I didn't gain the weight back was because I was too busy and stressed to eat.  We voluntarily evacuated to Colorado.  Two weeks later I joined the CrossFit box there.  My new coach encouraged me to try Paleo.  When I balked because there was just "too much" going on in my life- he suggested a 10 day fast at the very least.  He told me to eat lots of veggies, fruit (especially berries).  And he said to avoid dairy and grains.  


So I did what he said.  I dropped another 5 pounds.  So I downloaded The Paleo Solution by Robb Wolfe and I started reading.  Returning to Japan, I picked up working out once again with the old crew.  I continued to stumble along with my semi-Paleo diet.  I say semi-Paleo because I had a few stumbles with cupcakes and my daughter's birthday party.  But after eating the cupcake, I felt terrible.  This is not something new, in the past few years my tolerance for cake has become very low.  My body just does not appreciate the refined flour and sugars.  


I finished reading The Paleo Solution.  Add that to my online research I have done about Paleo, I am totally sold.  It makes a lot of sense to me, and confirmed how I had already started to think about food.  Mainly it confirmed my belief that boxed, processed food is BAD.  And my suspicions about the Nutritional Pyramid laid out by our government has it all wrong.  Who has ever lost weight following the pyramid?  It says to limit fats and oils but load up on grains.  So many people have wheat and gluten allergies, why is that?  How many people are allergic to MEAT?  And if they ARE allergic, how was that source of meat fed?  Grains?


I am not going to go all hard core Paleo, I think that would be too hard.  I have to get my sushi fix from time to time (I do live in Japan after all).  So a little rice will be thrown in from time to time.  I also need to break the creamer habit.  I know that stuff is just loaded with crap, and obviously it is addicting because I can't give it up!  But I am changing the way my family and I eat.  We are eating more fresh veggies, more fruit.  I no longer serve bread or pasta or rice with dinner.  Instead I add an extra veggie or two.  


I am not going to lie.  It is so much easier to open a box of mac n cheese as opposed to grilling some chicken and cutting up veggies.  But I know that I get through work outs easier when I eat right.  It makes such a big difference!  I haven't announced to the fam that we are going Paleo.  In truth I am slowly transitioning them.  I figure if I make yummy meals, they won't notice.  Right?